Dusting off the cobwebs for new ones to appear..

So its been a while since I last posted. If my memory serves me well, 5 weeks ago or so. Not alot has changed from my point of view.
Miss Poptarrt still spends copious amounts of time sitting drooling over ol'Pattzy and is now as infuriating as ever because she and Twisoup are forever chatting on skype.
If its not skype - shes on gmail chat on her phone. Shopping is now officially my duty whilst she stands with the trolley glued to her screen.

I have recently bought some new games though and am fine with being ignored for the time being. The reason I decided to post for once was because whilst scouring through my lovely ladies blog, I discovered she'd been keeping secrets from me.

Anyone heard of "Call of Booty"?

Yes, it seems my darling girlfriend has not only become friends with Stoney but she has been plotting and creating a monster of a story with her also. I read through the first few chapters, and though I was impressed such a story was concocted by her and Stoney, Im slightly intrigued as to who they are basing the Edward fellow as.

I cant seem to put my finger on it...

New followers and Updates

Hey Guys.
Sorry I havent been around lately, I cant seem to get time on the laptop these days - Miss Poptarrt has gotten rather into her fanfiction lately and growls anytime I come near the thing.
Even when shes asleep.

Just a quick update - I recently took part in Mrs. P's TwiBite Challenge - And it rocked.
That woman is not only a filthy vixen but she is hilarious aswell. Thank you Mrs. P for the good fun I had forming the answers and watching Poptarrts face when she read them back on your page.


And Im sorry this wasnt placed immediately, But its up now - and thats what matters.

Also, I havent been around lately, But i promise to start posting at least regularly.
Thanks and hello to all my new and old followers!

Part 2

In the second part of my series on surviving the twilight saga I have decided to share a few of my favourite ways to avoid being sucked into watching the movie for the 50th time or even too avoid actually having too read the books.

Mistwirection- There was a time when sitting still would cover you for long periods of time on your Xbox the problem these days is that the standard twihard has evolved from its T-rex stage and can now see you over the corner of the book regardless of your ability to sit like a ninja on sleeping pills. This forces us gamers to come up with new distractions, now here’s where you play the Robsession card. Thanks to the films twihards can be left mesmerised by the sight of one Robert Pattison and can only see you if you come between his picture and their face.
I recommend something similar to this prototype voodoo rob as shown below

Remember you can substitute Robs head with one of his fellow co stars for a similar effect....
WARNING: never try to replace the head with that of Bella, even with a vibrator inside the body to replicate the fucking twitching all tests concluded in destruction of the doll and loss of my Xbox privileges.

Twypnosis – memorise a few key phrases from the books, you don’t have to get it right. Paraphrase if necessary the trick is certain magic words, anything featuring lions and lambs will do also around dinner time you can try repeatedly asking for fork. The twihard will instantly become glazed over and will instantly feel the need to search out and read the nearest book.

Twibaiting - finally as a last ditch attempt you can say something derogatory about twilight, forcing the twihard to leave the room in disgust. This method should only ever be used in extreme circumstances as it can cause twihards to pounce on you with a ferocity not seen since last month’s period.

Good luck and happy gaming people

Surviving the Robpocalypse

Step 1 buy Call of Duty:Modern warfare 2
Step 2 play

Enjoy your freedom :)